10 years later...

I would just like to take a brief moment and remember how much 9/11 has affected me and everyone else.  I have spent the whole weekend glued to the television watching almost every tribute that was made.  I now feel like I know some of the people that were portrayed personally since I watched so much about them.  My heart goes out to every single person that was lost in 9/11 as well as every family member and friend that was touched by someone that was lost.  I think about my own life and how so many people joined the military afterwards, including my husband.  I don't know how many people took that path, but I would imagine many did.  The national pride that was shown right after the attacks, still gives me goosebumps.  September 11th, has two meanings for me.  Again, I am sad for everyone that died on that day.  But I am also, selfishly sad for myself.  I hate that I am admitting this out loud, but I am.  My husband is basically a fire fighter in the navy.  His job scares me so much.  Right now his job on shore duty is not that dangerous, but soon he is going back out to sea.  Now I know he is not fighting the front lines like so many other courageous people, but none the less, it is still dangerous.  I worry more about someone trying to bomb his carrier than I worry about him getting in an accident on board.  I know the latter is more probable but it is not the focus of my worry.  Nick always reassures me that he is safe, and I am sure he is.  But I also know that he would never tell me other wise because he would not want me to worry anymore than I already do.  I know this sounds selfish, and it is, but I am worried that one day I could be one of those widows.  I think 9/11 came right at a time this year, that Nick is preparing to leave the safety of my arms and going back out into the scary world alone.  I think that this weekend was too much emotions for me, and it got me thinking way too much.  I need to go back and take care of the boys to distract me.   Post and Carry on with the rest of your day!